So this morning I woke up and went to the garage and filled the car with gasoline. When I was done with the gas tank, I filled up the trunk with gasoline and then the back seat. I know the car didn’t need all that gasoline, but it looked bored just sitting there in the garage, and the gasoline seemed to make it happy.
Later on I went back out there and opened up the hood of the car and thought, “why not put some real good tasting oil in the oil dispenser from the ‘fried chicken’ and deep-fried French fries I had last night. So I took a funnel and poured about a pint of that tasty beautiful left-over oil, right into the oil dispenser.
Then I looked into the power steering fluid and thought, “that fluid looks miserable, why don’t I put some Vodka from my freezer in there and make it more exciting for the car, so I did. I then looked at the spark plugs and they were too clean, so I had some left-over rocket fluid… you know the stuff they put in food to preserve it, and I soaked the spark plugs in the fluid before I put them back in.
I was so excited, the car looked so happy that I decided to take a ride. I got in the car, took a deep breath, inhaling that beautiful gasoline smell, lit a cigarette and WAM!!! The car and the garage exploded into huge flames!
I woke from bed in a cold sweat and thought to myself…That’s the way I treat my body!!!